Friday, November 19, 2004

Man Without A Country

Do you remember the story of Benedict Arnold? When I was a wee one they had the story (either in a history book or a short story) with a picture of him standing on the deck of a ship gazing at the shore with desire. "The Man Without A Country" I think it was called. Well, I remember just looking at that picture and feeling pretty damn sorry for old Arnie. Granted he got a dish named after him for posterity, but nothing can beat some good ol' terra firma. I thought that that was the saddest thing I had ever seen, forever on a ship, no one wants you, etc.

Right now I feel a tad bit like that bloke. I just got back to Rockford, but it all feels out of sorts. Chicago is the same way. Its like my soul is wandering around the cold plains of Illinois wondering where the fuck my body got to. In Chicago the place where I feel the most at home is on the train, watching a lot of people in transit. Know one really knows how to act, where to look, or not to look, and who the hell is this guy sitting next to me. I feel about the same. My sister's place is a dirty and nasty. It's not her fault but her room mate's. Granted she has a lot of cool decorum but it's cluttered about, and no one could even try to clean. It's a cacophany. I wouldn't mind if it was cluttered like some of the apartments in Woody Allen movies. You know stacks of books, framed artwork perched precariously upon a shelf, paper's strewn everywhere, and the like. In fact, to me that's cozy. I guess the environment isn't benefitting from two dogs, two actresses and a maladjusted male sleeping on a lumpy couch. I just need some clean lines, ya know? It doesn't help that my sister's roomie is a tad premiscuous(where's spell check when you need it?). Last night me and my sister had to steer clear of the apartment while she was getting naked pictures of herself taken by this taboo photographer. I guess he's really big on photographing naked girls pretending to be dead. That and girls having orgasms (it seems like he is way to into this whole western way of thinking, eastern thought would put those two seemingly contradictary themes in the same catagory). There's all kinds of people out there, and even if ya don't like um too much you have to get by.

Well, I might be out of there this week. There's a furnished room for weekly rent four blocks from Wrigley. I know it's going to be ala Bukowski in it's appearance, but hey, I might just get some peace.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

University of Chicago? Sha right!

I've been looking over the law schools here and it looks like if I was going to do it I'd have to win the lottery or take on about 100,000 dollars in debt. So, I've been looking into online law programs. I'm not looking for anything prestigious just something that will allow me to pass the bar. Meanwhile, I'm stuck here in this strange middle eastern coffee shop that happens to have free wireless, and be right next to the Damon L stop. I'm working down on LaSalle St. They call it the LaSalle Canyon. During the day it can be pretty depressing, not a spot of green to be found, but at night it all turns around and becomes pretty damn beautiful.

Hey, listen to this, I bought a book today. I know yer thinkin' "oh, probably that Jon Stewart/Daily Show book" and while I was really itchin' to buy that book, instead I bought a book on Finance. This stock stuff is pretty interesting, it's all a big horse race, yet you don't come home with as much egg on yer mug when you lose.

I looked up Steve Jobs' Apple holdings today. The man hold 5,000,002 shares, a controlling interest. I know that might not be too exciting or anything, but the interesting thing is that 5,000,001 of those shares are book shares (meaning they all exist electronically) and he has 1 that is actually a certificate stock (a stock certificate that you can hold in yer greasy little hands). My guessing is he has this little bugger framed and hangin' on the wall of his office. Just a little insight into the one business man that I truly idolize (you can't get much cooler than ownin' Apple and Pixar).

But don't think this whole thing is a'gettin' to my head, cause I'm as poor as a piss ant, sleeping on a nasty couch every night, and just waiting to bounce another check. I'm fightin' ta keep my head above the water. The other thing gettin' my goat is that I can't see my boy. I miss the hell out of that bastard (he is a bastard, technically, and I, well, I'm a bastard subjectively). He doesn't like talkin' on the phone much. I can only get a, "hi", a "bye", and if I'm really good a, "I love you." Man, it hurts, but I'm doin' it fer him. This wy if he wants he could go to Savannah School of Art, Milwaukee School of Art and Design, or good old Harvard (my favorite of the Ivys, University of Chicago a close second, I don't know if that one is considered Ivy). Well, I'll just have to make the most out of all the time I'm with him.

As for fun, there's plenty around, but I don't have the time, energy, or money to chase it around. I just go back to the hovel, watch sum tv and go to sleep around ten. Well, like I said before, I don't have internet access at all times like I use to, so my blogging will be sporadic, but it will probably also be long. Talk to ya guys soon.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

The Feathers Flew

Well, the whole Madison or Chicago roulette wheel has been spinning for a while now and finally the ball has settled into place (I hope). The winner is.... Chicago. Yup, I got a job working with stocks for a transfer agent down in the financial district downtown. It's nothing great but it's a good way to get a foot in the door. Right now I'm just overwhelmed by the amount of shit I'm going to have to do to move in. I also have to think about how I can pay for it. I think I'm going to tutor nights. I'm also thinking about getting my law degree here.

The plan is to play the Man's game for about five or so years, work my ass off and try to get enough money to open up a business of my own. Once you get down here, and see all the money floating around, you realize that all it is is one big club. Once your in to the club things go easily. After seeing all of these high priced execs walking around you notice that they're not so great, and they really don't do too much either. My brother in law agreed with me heartily, he did it and now money is coming to him like water. I ain't going to be greedy, I just want to get what I need and get out. Well, i'll talk to ya all later, I gotta lick the boss's boots clean. Keepin' my eyes on the prize.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

With God On Our Side

"And you never count the dead with God on your side."

3,000 American Civilians died on 9-11
by a man named Osama Bin Laden in acountry called Afghanistan.

14,000 Iraqi Civilians reported dead by the U.S. Military (a recent Lancet study puts the number at 100,000)
In a country called Iraq, which had nothing to do with 9-11, didn't have WMD, in a war that didn't have international support from over 2/3rds of our allies.

"A march to freedom" is what George Bush calls it. "March to the Sea" is what Sherman called it.

It looks more like a trail of tears.

Is violence the only answer to any foreign crisis?

It seems so under this administration.

So, Who Would Jesus Bomb Next?

Do you think that the reason the Republicans had such a hard time with going into the Bosnian War was the fact that we would be on the Muslim side of the conflict?

Just watchin' the news.

My name it means nothing,
my age it means less,
the country I come from,
is called the midwest,

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Something a friend sent me

Dear Friends and Family,

Before I launch off into my main point I would like to encourage you to forward this email to everyone in your address book that you deem appropriate.  This is the culmination of my thoughts over the last four years and my life.  Thanks for your time.

A new day has dawned.  A day in which the majority of Americans have shown they favor religious fundamental beliefs over rationality; unilateral actions over diplomacy; wars for oil, money, and unreal objectives over peace, freedom, and unity; and, finally, privatized corporate control over socialized humanitarian efforts.  All of these polarizations trouble me deeply.  I am preaching to the choir I'm sure, but I assure you all that as an informed American who deeply believes in the minorities' arguments I will fight for change.  The majority is wrong.  Wrong in a way that can profoundly affect the world.  We humans need to look ahead, look to the future. Short-term gain may work for the present generation, but what about future generations?  What about the future of human kind?  What do they get?

War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Strength. 
-George Orwell

Warning #1:

When human beings attempt to rule with governments that are based on personal belief structures such as Islam or Christianity decisions tend to be irrational.  To those of you whom are religious (as I am) I am not criticizing religion; rather, I am stating that the supernatural world is purely a guide in the real world.  Rational thought is based on real world problems, consequences, and results.  Religion and the supernatural tend to allow us to cloak our short-term misdeeds in nice little bundles and then believe that it will all be ok in the end.  However, there are some things that can destroy human life (i.e., nuclear war) even if forgiven by God or Allah.  In the hands of the ignorant or deranged personal belief structures, God, and Allah offer humans (used loosely here) like Hitler, Bush, and Osama Bin Laden, respectively, rationalizations to do terrible things. 

In nature, there is one fundamental unity running through all the diversity we see about us. Religions are no exception to the natural law. They are given to mankind so as to accelerate the proceess of realization of fundamental unity. -Gandi

Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. Hate destroys a man's sense of values and his objectivity. It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful, and to confuse the true with the false and the false with the true. -Martin Luther King, Jr.

Warning #2:
Unilateral actions with other nations will lead to tension; conflict; and, in the long term a loss in human goals (i.e., survival).  I have said that it is similar to the bully in the schoolyard. The bully will get what he wants that day in middle school. However, in the long term the bully is the guy who everyone mistrusts or shuns from the group.  Picture America being the bully and everyone being Europe, Asia, and the Middle East.  I would strongly encourage joining the group since America is after all made up of Europeans, Asians, and Middle Easterners.  It scares me to think of going home alone and having no friends, being isolated in such a big world.  But my feelings aside, it scares me more to think that these bullies I'm referring to have guns, nuclear weapons, and faithful followers.  All of the greatest people in history were advocates of peace, humanitarian efforts, and most importantly unity not disarray.

We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools. -Martin Luther King, Jr.

Warning #3:
This one is short and sweet:  WAR IS WRONG.  Killing and dying for oil, money, and fictitious social constructs of fear (i.e., weapons of mass destruction).  Life is not a choice it is a gift.  We are not soldiers. We are not fighters.  We are human beings, Antiflag.  Greed is like LSD, you're in a different world when you're on it, and if you are greedy and powerful then there are inevitably others in your world too, a bad combination.  Now, oil, as a mechanical engineer I can assure you there are alternatives to oil, but YOU NEED TO WANT TO USE THEM.  Oil does make the world go around right now, but it does not have to.  People do not need to die for money and oil.  There are alternatives, ask me about them if you don't believe me.  The Bush Administration has chosen to believe that we need to focus on the short-term, but I challenge humankind to focus on the long-term.  The here and now is nothing without the future, I'm for peace.

People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge mankind into ruin and destruction.  For the love of money is the root of all evil. -1 Timothy 6:9-10

Warning #4:
Privatization and increased corporate power in American government will lead to greed, poverty, war, and inhumane treatment of the less fortunate.  For instance, I have no health insurance.  I cannot afford it.  If I fall and break my leg (which I actually almost did last week when I slipped on the wet deck outside) I would have to pay a ridiculous price to get help, on the order of five figures.  Why?  Because private insurance companies drive prices through the roof.  Why do insurance firms pay half as much as me for the same treatment?  It is because the insurance corporations do more business (i.e., wholesale health care) with the hospitals.  That is wrong. Humans have the right to take care of other humans.  The g-word (government) doesn't even need to enter the discussion.  It is a fundamental human duty to take care of each other.  If anarchy were possible every one and their neighbor would do this.  However, government can offer a little assistance from those neighbors who are a little less willing to offer their help.  Whatever you believe, money has NOTHING to do with final argument.  Humanitarian needs can be met through human efforts not through profit driven corporate decision-making.

Here's one for the deep thinkers out there:

The following socialist rhetoric is especially poignant when analyzed with respect to the current American majority.  The way things are headed the liberal-conservative continuum is about to do a full 180 degree flip-flop.

Where it is a question of a complete transformation of the social organization, the masses themselves must also be in it, must themselves already have grasped what is at stake, what they are going in for with body and soul. -Frederick Engels

In reality, the State is nothing else than a machine for the oppression of one class by another, and indeed no less so in the democratic republic than in the monarchy. -Frederick Engels

In conclusion, we live in a world were too many people worry about the short-term.  The prevailing thought process is what I call linear opposed to cyclical. 

A linear thought process is like this:
(1)  Problem
(2)  Solution
(3)  Action

A cyclical thought process is as follows: 
(1)  Problem
(2)  Solution
(3)  Consequence evaluation
(4)  Action
(5)  Results evaluation
(6)  Repeat (1)-(5) as needed

The Bush Administration has a life long record of using a linear thought process.  They don't reveal to us any evidence of evaluation.  I believe that this method is wrong, uncompassionate, and dangerous.  Religion, unilaterism, oil, greed, war, and corporate power in the hands of a linear thinker can be very destructive and if not catastrophic to humankind.  I strongly urge the religious to understand that religion is based on unity and love; the unilaterist to think about who he is taking from because they may take back some day; the oil and money hungry to evaluate the possibility that there are alternatives; the war hawks that initiating killing, hate, murder, and rage will NEVER solve a problem; and, finally, the corporate idealist to let humans take care of humans.  I look to the future, a future in which my little nephew can grow and his children can grow.  I cannot stand and watch a majority of fools lead humankind to harm, pain, and possible extinction.  I strongly encourage each of you to think about my linear thinking versus cyclical thinking argument as it pertains to your own lives and the lives of those you love.  Please consider the future before you make the past.

Ten thousand fools proclaim themselves into obscurity, while one wise man forgets himself into immortality. -Martin Luther King, Jr.

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. -Martin Luther King, Jr.

The time of surprise attacks, of revolutions, carried through by small conscious minorities at the head of unconscious masses, is past.

Get up, brush off the dirt, lets get back to work

Frank Zappa once said, "You can't always write a chord ugly enough to say what you want to say, so sometimes you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream."

Well, that's how I felt yesterday. But as I have said before and will undoubtably say again is, "being a Cubs fan prepares you for continual and humiliating loss. But it also reminds you that there is always next year."

The only thing that I'm really having a hard time with is this whole evangelical thing, this religious right, this fundamentalist trip. Today, Bush was told that Arafat had died (we later found out that that was not true, well, at least not yet) and asked what he thought about it. His first words were, "God bless his soul." The inference from his flagrant proclamation of his religion was that he didn't believe that he was going anywhere good. Hey, if you don't believe me fine, go listen to the tape yourself and make your own conclusions. Fundamentalists fighting fundamentalists. Hmmn, doesn't really sound like "a battle for freedom" anymore, but more like a religious war. The good thing is at least our guy believes in the right God.

How should liberals and progressives evade this wedge issue (a good example of how the Republicans have used this as a wedge issue see SpinSouth's post). My best take on this is to look to Barak Obama the new Senator from Illinois (I used to hate this state but looking at the way it votes makes me prouder and prouder). Here we have an intelligent young man with firm Christian beliefs and values who is also progressive (Harbs, where did you get the information that Obama was "fairly conservative" I have seen and spoken to the man and you are no... well your just wrong) Obama is quick to point out that while the Republicans are really happy to hop on the Christian train they are completely out of touch with what is Christianity. Christianity (I have read a little about this... for about thirty years) is based on compassion, generosity, love for your neighbors and many other good things. Unfortunately Christianity in America has taken a decidedly inquisitorial turn. Harbs, you have told me numerous times about the problems with modern day Christianity (intolerance, a nasty predisposition to judge, hypocrisy, and the like). Are not these the qualities that the Republicans seem to embrace? Are not the values that true Christianity upholds more in tune with what the Democrats hold dear. Sure there is serious power in pushing intolerance and ignorance. But it is the wrong kind of power, and never leads to anything good. Here in Illinois nothing illustrated this fact more than Alan Keyes (Obama's opponent, someone who more blatantly expressed the basic truths of this new neo con way of thinking). Obama was able to capitalize on this. He was able to take what Keyes said and to draw the conclusion that voting for Keyes was a vote against tolerance, against common sense, and against Christianity. I feel that the Democrats need to look to the black churches for a way to push this point. Martin Luther King embodied this kind of thinking.

The idea behind this all is not to push those that we think are sinners farther away from us, but to welcome them in. To say that while I do not believe that your lifestyle is right, I want to show you the truth through love and dialogue, rather than judgement and condemnation.

That is all for now. But everyone who does care for this country, and leans to the left, and wonders, "what the hell is going on with this country?" Let's all get together, not wallow in our sorrows, but look for ways to remedy this.

This is another quote from Frank Zappa, I found it while I was looking for the quote above. This is pretty anti Christian, which I don't exactly believe in but it says something I really hadn't thought about.

The essence of Christianity is told to us in the Garden of Eden history. The fruit that was forbidden was on the Tree of Knowledge. The subtext is, All the suffering you have is because you wanted to find out what was going on. You could be in the Garden of Eden if you had just kept your fucking mouth shut and hadn't asked any questions.
-- Frank Zappa, interview, Playboy, May 2, 1993

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

I'm sad

I'm sad
People are stoopid
I want to be a canuck

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

November Novel Writing Month

I'm praying that we will have another president by the next time I write you. You might not hear from me much on this blog for the next month. I am trying to write a 50,000 novel in the next thirty days. Right now I am at about 4500 words (not bad for two days of work). Come check it out at alabasteralbatross.blogspot.com. Remember this is strictly quantitiy not quality. I am just trying to get a full work out. If it turns out not to be a complete piece of shit I will rewrite it. Right now it's just fun to be able to write without thinking about all of the issues that usually stall me. I'll talk to y'all soon.

November Novel Writing Month

I'm praying that we will have another president by the next time I write you. You might not hear from me much on this blog for the next month. I am trying to write a 50,000 novel in the next thirty days. Right now I am at about 4500 words (not bad for two days of work). Come check it out at alabasteralbatross.blogspot.com. Remember this is strictly quantitiy not quality. I am just trying to get a full work out. If it turns out not to be a complete piece of shit I will rewrite it. Right now it's just fun to be able to write without thinking about all of the issues that usually stall me. I'll talk to y'all soon.